The Craziest Language
We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes.
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is a goose, but two are called geese
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
And if I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet a hat in the plural would never be hose.
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him,
But imagine the feminine, she, shis, and shim.
So English I fancy you will agree,
Is the craziest language you ever did see.
Author Unknown
Plane English
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
Author Unknown
These should help you to ease into Monday. :)
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